Rachel Heinz's blog

Final Blog Post - 1200 words!

 

My Mississippi Teacher Corps experience in 1200 words…

            I’m not sure how to begin this blog post.  It’s my last one.  Thank God.  Blogging has probably been the thing I’ve disliked the most about my teacher corps experience.  I never have the time, energy, or desire to come up with clever blog posts, and so they’re mostly word vomit (word vomit that I hope no one really reads).  

My Mississippi Teacher Crops experience has been a whirlwind.  I came to Mississippi in 2009 in a small red pickup truck with my husband and my dog.  I didn’t expect anything.  I had never been to Mississippi or any of its bordering states before, and I almost felt like I was moving to a foreign country.  When I applied, I had to look on a map of the US to remind myself where Mississippi was again…pretty bad. 

Mississippi itself has been a surprising place.  I’ve fallen in love with the people, the history, and the food.  The complex social structure is quite interesting.  I’ve spent the last two years observing how the people in my small town interact with one another (or don’t).  The black world and white world in Tunica are very much separate and although both sides are friendly toward one another in public, there aren’t many interracial friendships, marriages, or relationships in general.  It still makes me uncomfortable, and although I’m white, I do not feel comfortable in white Tunica.  I’m much more at home at my school, in the black neighborhoods, or with my black teacher friends.  I’ve enjoyed learning about race and what it means to be one race or the other.  It’s made me think a lot about myself and how I feel about certain social issues.  I’m thankful I’ve experienced a place like this. 

 My experiences with my teacher corps friends have been wonderful.  I’ve met some truly amazing people in this program.  I hope that we will always be a part of each other’s lives in some way or another.  This experience we’ve shared is special, and whether or not it’s been enjoyable, it has been a learning experience that is second to none.  As a group, we’ve all been taken so far out of our comfort zones that we’ve had to dig deep and find ourselves.  I think I know myself better now than I did two years ago.  I think that this is a huge benefit of teacher corps.  We, the teachers, learn to become more creative, more flexible, and more driven than we’ve ever had to be before.  We’ve all grown up a lot in these last two years, and I’m thankful that I’ve had some great friends to lean on.  Whether or not they stay in education, in Mississippi, or in contact with me, I’ll always have fond memories of my teacher corps class.

The best part of my teacher corps experience has been the kids.  I absolutely love working with the kids.  I love how they light up when I have a killer lesson, and I love how critical they are of me when my lessons suck.  They’re brutally honest to the point of being almost offensive.  When they love you, they really really love you, and they’re not afraid to show it.  Their smiles and hugs make my job worth it.  Their test scores are a bonus, and although they don’t say thank you often, the occasional thank you means more to me than I’ll ever let them know.  They have taught me more than I’ll ever teach them, and I am thankful for every single one of them (even the ones who went crazy on me).  I look forward to seeing what they make of their lives.  I hope that some will keep in touch, and I only wish each and every one of them well.  I’m not staying at my school next year, in Mississippi, or in education, and I will truly miss the kids.  The one good thing about teaching is that no matter how many things go wrong in day, there’s always something someone says or does that will make you laugh and remind you what it’s like to be a kid again.  I’ll miss those moments because I do laugh really hard at work every single day.  Not everyone can say that.

I have truly enjoyed my teacher corps experience.  I am so much more aware of educational issues and poverty issues than I was two years ago.  This experience has been invaluable and probably the second best experience of my life (the best experience was marrying my husband).  I have spent the last two months wrestling with what I want to do next in life.  I applied to dental school last summer not thinking I’d get in.  I ended up interviewing at an amazing school in Arizona, and by some small miracle, I was accepted.  Although I was overjoyed with the acceptance, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to leave education and pursue a dental degree.  This decision has literally kept me awake at night.  I finally decided that I am going to pursue dentistry.  I just don’t think that teaching is sustainable for me.  I am excited and nervous about my decision.  Jacob and I will again have to move across country and start over in a new place.  We’re ready for a new adventure, and I’m ready to use some of the skills I’ve learned as an educator in my new career.  I hope to one day be an oral surgeon in the pediatric wing of a hospital, fixing birth defects or mouth trauma.  It’s going to be a long journey, but I’m ready for the challenge.  If I can survive teaching for two years in the Mississippi delta, I suppose I can survive anything.  We’ll be leaving at the end of the summer with our two cars, two dogs, and a whole lot of good memories.

I have 200 words left and I want to use them to thank everyone in the teacher corps family for their support and guidance these past two years.  This program is truly amazing, and I feel like I was molded into the best teacher I could possibly be in such a short amount of time.  The training is second to none, and I felt ready to run my own classroom after the summer training my first year.  A special thanks goes to Pete Nelson, the oracle.  He was one hell of a team teacher, and he truly inspired me that first summer.  I also want to thank Sara for sticking it out with me.  We were the only two teachers to survive “Team Bio.”  Ann, Ben, and Dr. Mullins, thank you for choosing me to be a part of this program.  I feel really blessed for all of the experiences I have had with teacher corps.  And, finally, I want to give a huge special thanks to all of my fellow corps members.  All of you are very special to me, and I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.  It’s been a great two years, and I’m sad it’s ending, but I will definitely leave with fond memories of my time here in the South.   

Letter to First Years

Dear First Years,

Congratulations, and welcome to Mississippi (if you're not from Mississippi). If you made it this far, you're probably committed to education and to kids.  You probably know that you want to be a teacher, at least for awhile, and you probably aren't afraid to try new things.  I'm proud of you for making the decision to be here.  You're about to embark on the hardest and best journey of your life. 

Teacher corps may not seem hard at first.  You'll work hard, but you'll be full of life and energy and idealism.  I didn't realize how hard this job really is until February of my second year.  I ran out of energy and I started losing my idealism.  I began to struggle with the impossible situations that many of my students face.  It finally hit me, and I'm thankful that it took so long to hit me.  I hope that you are able to maintain your idealism for the duration of your time in teacher corps.  

I hope that you enjoy your summers.  Don't take them for granted.  You will meet some amazing people, you will learn a lot, and hopefully, you will have fun.  Enjoy every moment. 

I hope that you are able to make friends outside of teacher corps.  I was lucky enough to be placed at a school that had a lot of young, energetic teachers.  I've developed amazing friendships with these people.  We support eachother at work and enjoy our lives outside of work.

I hope you find happiness in your students.  They will be a great source of joy in your life.  Don't let them get to you.  Laugh with them and at them as much as you can.  You will find that they generally want to do the right thing, and they want to please you.  Once they trust you, they'll do pretty much anything for you. 

I hope you allow yourself to take in all that Mississippi has to offer.  Mississippi is an extremely interesting state.  You will see things you've never seen before, hear things you've never heard before, and eat some of the best friend food you've ever tasted.  Have an open mind.  Try new things.  Enjoy.  Your stay here will be much better if you rid yourself of expectations.  Be as openminded as possible. 

I hope you do your job well.  The kids deserve to have people in their lives who truly care about them and their education. 

Best of Luck,

R. Heinz

Blog Reaction

I've changed a lot in the last two years.

My blog isn't a reflection of how I've grown and changed.  In fact, my blog is really superficial.  After reading it, I wish I would have spent more time composing my entries, making them a true reflection of my teacher corps experience. However, I chose to spend less time blogging and more time lesson plannin, and I can honestly say that I went to school everyday, prepared to teach a meaningful lesson.  I'm proud of that. My blog, I'm not so proud of.  

My time in teacher corps has been a roller coaster, and it still is.  There are days that I would give anything to be back in California with all of my friends and family. There are days where there is no place I would rather be than with my students, in my classroom, laughing and learning.  My blog showcases a lot of the good times, but I failed to accurately capture the bad times.  I have never once regretted my decision to join, and I have been able to carry my enthusiasm and passion with me throughout this crazy journey.

It is clear, from my blog, that my second year has been much easier than my first year.  I've been able to enjoy my time, my students, and my school.  Reading through my blogs has made it clear to me that my experience has been different from other teacher corps teacher's experiences because I have an amazingly supportive principal.  He listens to me, respects my opinion, and supports me 100% in my decisions.  I am fortunate in this way.

Another thing that's clear from my blog entries, I really love the kids.  They make me laugh every single day. I think it's a blessing to have a job that's so funny.  Some situations are so ridiculous and the kids are so ridiculous that I can't help but laugh.  This has allowed me to stay joyful and positive through the bad times. 

Finally, my blog shows that I have made wonderful friends in this program.  Mississippi life has been an adjustment.  I talk about eating catfish for the first time, driving through the nothingness of the delta, and having to jump through ridiculous hoops to get my power turned on.  I don't think I would have survived my time in the south without my wonderful teacher corps friends.  They are simply the best.

Freewrite

    My students make me laugh everyday.  The laughter is the best part of my job. 

    Last week, the kids told me that I only respond to them in three ways: "No" "Oh" and "That's nice." I started paying attention to my responses, and they're right.  I need to mix up my reactions.  They think it's hilarious that I rarely react to anything they say.  They'll tell me crazy stories to see if I have an adverse reaction, and I never do.  I usually just say, "that's nice."

    I'm struggling with whether or not I'll stay at Rosa Fort for a third year.  Some days I definitley want to stay, and some days I can't wait to get out of there.  Things that make me want to stay: 1. I love the kids. 2. I teach across the hall from my best friend, Daphne Waller. 3.  I have an amazingly supportive principal. 4. I think I'd be a damn good teacher next year. 5. Jacob and my sister are both doing teacher corps next year, and I would love to work the same hours/in the same district as my husband. Things that make me want to go: 1. I got accepted into dental school, and if I don't go this year, I'm not sure I will go.  I'm getting old. 2. I'm not sure I want to stay in education. 3. I'm tired of Tunica.

    I had my first crazy student experience about a month ago.  I'd write about it, but in order to make it an effective story, I'd have to say my student's real name, and I can't do that in a blog.  To make a long story short, the Tunica community does not think I'm a "racist b****",  and I still have a job. HOORAY!

    The Rosa Fort High School boys basketball team plays in the semifinals for the state championship tomorrow night in Jackson.  I get to ride the freshmen bus.  We're leaving school tomorrow morning at 11:00.  I can't wait to cheer on my lions.  If we win tomorrow, we play Friday night at 8:30 PM.  I apologize in advance to whoever is grading my portfolio presentation Saturday because you better believe that I'll be Jackson Friday night, cheering on the team.

    The state test is coming fast, and I'm scared that my students are prepared.  I'm having a harder than usual time getting them to come to after school tutoring. Too many snow days...too little time...I don't feel like I've done enough to get them where tey need to be. 

Why Should Someone Join MTC? Why Should Someone Not Join MTC?

I answered these same questions last year, and I'm not sure how much my answers have changed.  I plan on writing this blog, and then re-reading my blogs from last year. 

Why should someone join MTC?

    The Mississippi Teacher Corps is an awesome program.  I felt as prepared as I could have felt on my first day of school.  The way in which we are trained and the amount of training we receive in MTC is second to none.  I felt much more prepared and had my classroom under a lot more control than the Teach for America first year teachers at my school. 

    If you want to learn how to become a teacher, join teacher corps. I feel like I really am a teacher and at times, an effective one.  I have teacher corps to thank. 

    If you want to make amazing friends, join teacher corps.  I love my teacher corps class, and we share a unique experience that will forever bond us with one another.  No matter where we go from here, we'll always feel a connection to Missississippi and to one another.

    If you want a free masters degree, join teacher corps. You'll pay for your masters degree in other ways.  Being a teacher in a high needs school is hard, and the work you do for your masters degree often seems trivial.  However, I'm thankful for those Saturday classes because they gave me time to bond with my teacher corps friends.

    If you want to serve, join teacher corps. 

    If you want to learn about a unique part of our great country, join teacher corps.

 

Why shoudl someone not join teacher corps?

    Don't join teacher corps for the free masters.  You'll soon discover that it's not really free.

    Don't join teacher corps if you're weak.  You'll surely break. 

    Don't join teacher corps if you need to be recognized for what you do.

    Don't join teacher corps if you can't handle criticism.  You'll be criticized every day.  You'll be judged everyday, and if you can't handle it, you'll quit.

    Don't join teacher corps if you're easily discouraged.

    Don't join teacher corps if you don't like kids.

    Don't join teacher corps if you can't find a way to accept life in the south.  Southern living is quite different.  You'll have to adapt and try new things, and you'll probably witness things you didn't think happened in real life.  If you're not willing to embrace your new surroundings, don't join.

12/15 Blogs

Why I Stayed ....   

Although Rosa Fort High School definitely has its flaws, I feel like I belong to the school community.  Last year started out rough but ended really well.  I found my administration to be extremely supportive, I became great friends in some of my coworkers, and I developed a relationship with the majority of my students. At the end of the last year, I was told that I was being moved to freshmen hall.  I wasn't thrilled by the idea, but I was thrilled about teaching across the hall from my new best teacher friend.  I knew that being able to teach near her was going to make my job that much better, and I was excited about returning to Rosa Fort.  I wouldn't have wanted to start over at a new school and go through the pain of establishing myself all over again.

How I Meet People...

Most of my non-TFA and non-MTC friends are my fellow teachers at Rosa Fort.  I've become great friends with two teachers in particular, and we hang out a lot outside of school.  They are my saving graces, and I feel so fortunate to have cultivated such a close friendship with both of them.  I've also met people at the local recreation center.  Other than that, I don't really hang out with a lot of non-MTC or non-TFA people.

October Year 1 vs. October Year 2

I actually found October of my first year easier than October of my second year.  I was still on that first year teacher high my first year.  This year, I was ready for a break.  However, I think that January/February are the hardest months to get through.  They're even harder than October.  January/February are so depressing because it's cold, everything's dead, and I get homesick. 

Advice For After Thanksgiving Break

Be tough.  Don't get a haircut.  Last year I got a haircut over Thanksgiving break and the kids freaked out on me my first day back.  I didn't teach anything.  Instead, we spent the entire day talking about my hair.  The kids are generally excited to be back at school after a break.  They miss their friends, and they are proabably happy to see you too.  They'll be refreshed and ready to get back down to business.  It never hurts to review rules and procedures, and I strongly suggest being tough with the consequences the first day back.  It will be worse after Christmas...

Day in the Life

My alarm clock goes off at 5:45.  I get up and hop in the shower.  I usually try not to think about the day ahead.  Instead, I enjoy the peacefulness of my mornings.  My husband and dogs sleep soundly in, on, and around the bed as I get dressed. By 6:10 I am outside with our big dog, Bruce, taking him on his morning walk.  Vader, our small dog, and Jacob, my husband, like to sleep in.  After Bruce does his business, I feed him, feed myself, and make my lunch.  I leave by 6:45.  I arrive at school around 7:00.  I'm the first teacher on campus.  I uaually get to school early to make copies, clean my classroom, or catch up on grading.  The bell rings at 7:40 and my amazing first period enters my room.  First period is amazing, and the kids are smart...really really smart.  The bell rings at 8:55 and I'm sad to see those students leave.  Second period starts with kids knocking on my door because their late.  One kid knocks twice and I decide not to let him in (the kids know they can only knock once).  I let the other two late students in only after I harrass them about being late.  Second period is smooth sailing and the kids make me laugh.  I spend my planning period avoiding students, catching up on grading, or talking on the phone.  Fourth period is good, and fifth period is even better.  There's a fight at lunch, but my students aren't fazed.  They know not to get up or leave my table.  I'm sad to see fifth period end because I know I have to deal with my awful sixth period class.  Fortunately four people are late, and I decide not to let them in.  Sixth period has to do silent bookwork because they've lost all privileges.  Two girls are on their phones.  One gives me her phone and one refuses.  She's given three days at home...YES! Sixth period ends, and I'm ready for my small seventh period class.  Seventh period is laid back, and the kids are nice.  We get through the lesson and have time to spare.  We talk about life.  The bell rings at 3:05.  The kids leave.  I pack my bags, and leave by 3:15.  I go to the gym or take my dogs for a walk.  I relax and have a beer..sometimes I go out to dinner with my husband.  I go to bed at 9:30.

What's different?

• I'm relaxed.
• I leave at 3:15 instead of 5:00.
• I don't grade EVER. The students do all of my grading for me.
• I'm organized.
• I get up at 5:45 instead of 5:00.
• I don't write kids up...instead I call the principal directly and he suspends them for me. 
• The kids respect me more.

Being tested..

School has been great. The kids think I'm crazy.  I think it's good to be crazy.  I take crazy as a compliment.  They've started calling me Mrs. Damante.  Damante is Jacob's last name, and they can't understand why I didn't take his last name.  They think I'm an awful person for being Heinz instead of Damante. I don't mind that they call me by his last name.  It makes me laugh.  My only complaint is that the principal decided to move all the bad kids out of the freshmen English teacher's fifth period class and put them in my fifth period class.  The English teacher's classroom is a complete joke, and he can't control the kids AT ALL.  Last week they were throwing condoms filled with lotion at him and eachother during class.  Oh well, I can handle them. 

Life, however, has thrown me one curve ball after the another.  Last week I was pulled over for the first time in my 10 years of driving.  The highway patrol officer told me I was going 79 in a 65.  I told him I was going 74.  He disagreed, couldn't show me my speed on his gun, and wrote me a ticket for 74.  Saturday morning, Jacob and I recieved a letter in the mail that said the house we are currently living in is being foreclosed on and being turned over to HUD. We have 60 days to vacate.  We are trying to move by the end of this week, so we don't have to pay our crazy dishonest landlord anymore money.  Friday night, Jacob was driving south on the highway.  A lady driving north crossed over into his lane, turning right in front of him.  He hit the lady going 50-55 mph.  He lost his front tire, swerved into a ditch, and rolled on his side.  His truck is totaled, but thankfully, he walked away with a bruised leg.  One of my coworkers told me that bad things come in threes.  I hope those were my three.  I don't know if I can handle anything else.

I am excited about November.  November should be better.  I can't wait to take my students to the Ole Miss football game.  I picked two of my favorites.  I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving.  My uncle and sister are coming to Tunica to celebrate Thanksgiving with me, Jacob, and the dogs.  It will be my first time hosting Thanksgiving.  I think I'll trick everyone else into cooking for me. :) 

Freewrite

Jacob and I tried to find a house to rent in Tunica for the year. We failed.  There was nothing available.  No one in Tunica wanted to rent a house to us and our two dogs. So, we moved to Walls, MS.  We now live in a little two bedroom two bathroom house off highway 61, 15 miles south of Memphis.  It takes me 25 minutes to drive to work, but it's worth it.  Our rent is cheap, and the people in the neighborhood are nice.  We like it here, and we like having a fenced in backyard.

Walls is in DeSoto county, and the kids in my neighborhood go to Lake Cormorant High School. I forgot to mention that my neighborhood is a mixed neighborhood.  There are black people and there are white people.  The black kids and white kids play together in the streets after school.  The black kids and the white kids always say hello and ask me permission to pet my dogs when I take them on walks. Lake Cormorant High School is a high performing school.  It's 50/50 black and white.

Thursday, when I got home from school, there were 3 kids in front of my house (2 black, and 1 white).  They were football players from Lake Cormorant High School.  They were walking around the neighborhood selling "Gator" cards for the football team.  They came up to me and asked me to purchase one.  They were UNBELIEVABLY polite.  I have never had teenage boys call me me ma'am so many times in a single conversation.  I, of course, purchased a card. After this encounter, I couldn't help but wonder...Is it really that different to teach at Lake Cormorant High School?  Can 25 miles really make that much of a difference?

The short answer is: YES!  Jennifer Kirby, former teacher corps member, is the biology 1 teacher at Lake Cormorant High School.  She taught at Coldwater High School last year.  I told her about the encounter I had with the football players over dinner.  She confirmed that it is THAT much different to teach at a school like Lake Cormorant.  She said that the kids will sit for an entire block period and do bookwork.  She told me that a student will be automatically sent to the alternative school for cursing out a teacher.  How can 25 miles really make that much of a difference? How can values be that different?  I don't understand.   

Second Year, First Few Days

The biggest difference: I knew what to expect.

The first few days of my second year were much easier and much calmer than the first few day of my first year.  This year, I knew how I wanted my classroom set up. I knew what rules I wanted to use.  I knew what consequences would be backed by my administration.  Last year, I didn't know any of this.  Last year was trial and error. 

Last year was much more exciting than this year.  Last year, I was excited for the first day of school.  This year, I was not.  I actually put off setting up my classroom until the day before school started because I didn't want to think about students, lessons, or anything that had to do with school. 

Although I lacked enthusiasm, I began my first day confident and prepared.  I knew exactly what the students should be doing and what they shouldn't be doing.  I wasn't afraid to confront a student about his/her misbehavior or his/her uniform violation.  My students from last year made my first day back worth it.  They hugged me and said hello to me.  They made me feel like I did a good job last year.  They made me feel like all my struggles my first year were worth it. 

This year, I am in freshmen hall.  The counselor moved all non-first time freshmen out of my classroom.  This has made a HUGE difference for me.  I have no over-age freshmen in my classroom at ALL.  This is probably the best thing the administration could have done for the freshmen and for the freshmen teachers.  The freshmen do not have anyone in  my class to model misbehavior after.  I don't have any students I taught last year.  I am essentially starting with a clean slate, and my expectations are high.  I am now excited for this year, and I plan on doing a good job.

The biggest challenge I faced the first 4-5 days was waiting for the overage students to be moved out of my room.  There were 25 of them. 25 of the worst students from last year's freshmen class. Fortunately, I was able to threaten them with their lives, and put them to work, organizing, grading, and alphabetizing everything in my room.  I made them the line leaders, and I forced them to set good examples for the freshmen by checking their uniforms for any little violation at the door.  Thank goodness they were moved out of my room! HA!